Wednesday, August 22, 2012

How I Ended Up Here


I tried so hard to stay in New Zealand....I truly did!

I had buckled down for a tedious visa process, including xrays & extensive medical checks to sweat over like the one for New Zealand.  When I paid my fee with my application, I got a receipt via email.  But it wasn't a receipt, it was my full-blown Working Holiday Visa.  It came in less than an hour!

I put off sailing here for ages.  I was supposed to be here in time for my birthday in (April) & every two weeks I was "leaving for Australia".  I had so many going away parties; they were compelling enough to make me stay.  Ironic.

Right up until the 24 hour deadline I was on the phone with the airline trying to change my flight.  I had even arranged a place to stay for the next 2 weeks to whenever.

I packed all the wrong things.  I checked off every box on the declaration card.

Do you have animal materials? - yes
Do you have any food items? - yes
Do you have dirty contaminated camping/hiking gear? - yes
Have you been on a farm in the last 30 days - YES

I'm a big fan of the Australian show Border Security.  It showcases the folly of drug smugglers, visa loopholers & people from Asia bringing heaps of food into the country.  My chance at stardom!

The States would have sniffed everything inside & out, asked questions about my intentions for my dirty laundry, & even after xraying my tighty whities (in my bag & on my body) still would've given me cause for concern.  & that's just to ENTER.

They gave me a "what the f**k is this?", scolded me for the sorry state of my passport, practically slapped me upside the head & kicked me out of security & into the country.  Leaving me to fend for myself in big bad Australia where everything bites & will kill you.

-x-x-x-


Maybe where I went wrong was immediately deleting the text from Caro that was waiting for me on the ground that went on about b.ombs, t.errorism, plots & c.artels - all in less than 150 characters!  She has a warm way of saying "If you get deported, you can stay at my place!"

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