Friday, September 30, 2011

Breakdown

I have written about this before.  We are not a team.  Between when the anchor is lifted & is dropped once again we function well together.  Every time goes a little more smoothly.  Passage is peaceful, in fact we hardly talk at all.  When we are at anchor everybody lets loose, drunk & wild.  "Run aground, run amuck" has been our slogan since Galapagos.  Truer now than ever before.

I returned home with a smile from one of my strangely mysterious nights out.  My bed is getting cold & my current policy is Meet me at the shore at sunset, & if I don't show, I'll find my own way for the night.  Nevermind middle, resourceful should be my first name.  As I walked up to mon equipage (my crew) on shore with my shit-eating grin, I realized the boys were sitting with about 20 bags of stuff next to them.  This almost never happens, but it seems someone else had a more interesting night than me.  The boys were kicked off the boat.

If we had made a bet in Panama over who would be the first to throw in the towel, it would have been a very close race.

Chris & Jamie don't like each other.  Being that Jamie's the Captain, tensions can run a bit high.  Chris has told him many times where to shove it & blatently said he doesn't like him as a person.  Jamie & Hanne have a consistent on-the-rocks relationship.  They bicker talk about their feelings in that way couples who have been together forever & have gone to counselling do.  Exhausting.  She had her bags packed last weekend, with one foot off the boat.  It seems they're back together again.  Sigh.

Even before it all I woke up this morning feeling great about leaving.  It is constantly reinforced that I am alone.  When I have an issue, I can only hope one of the others will back me up.  We recently had a disagreement about liberal sex on the boat.  Jimmy mentioned to me how frustrating it is that if there is sex happening in the main cabin, the rest of us can't use the kitchen, bathroom or anything below decks. 
This is a hot topic for me, so I brought it up.  When Jimmy realized he might be compromised, he renegged.  I was furious that no one would back me up.  Once again my point of view was completely ruled out.  I left the boat thinking that my idea that we are a team is bullshit & the Three Musketeers are full of it.

Hanne was devastated about the boys leaving.  We played depressing lounge jazz while she sulked in the afternoon.  I don't mind.  Actually, it's rediculous how much I don't mind.  It doesn't even phase me.  I tend to think of change as a good thing, & it's been so long coming at least someone had the common sense to jump ship.  (Pun.)

Jamie mentioned that it comes back to backing each other up.  Both Hanne & Jimmy could have talked their counterparts away from the edge, but no one intervened.  I definately do not blame them for it.  It can get very messy.  In this case Chris may or may not have been pushed overboard, depending on who you believe.  Chris' story has him picked up & tossed over; in Jamie's he put his hand on his back & Chris leaped
into the water.  Hanne's the most levelheaded of the 4 of them & the most passive participant, so I tend to lean in her direction, which is somewhere in the middle.

Tonight I am getting ready to go out with the new friends I've made.  Somehow with every night I've spent away, I have still only spent 1 night on land in 3 months.  My new friends are fishermen,  the only people that are possibly bigger drinkers than sailors.  I brought home fresh tuna & snow - the best snow in Moorea - for drinks.  I got a lift from another yachtie, so when they left for dinner on shore they didn't even know I was on board.  I will plug my things in a dry bag & swim to shore, hoping I don't get my hair wet.  Or get eaten by sharks I guess.

Tomorrow when we arrive in Tahiti I will look for opportunities on other boats.  It's crazy how much fun I have away from my so-called family.  And Different is good.

and I am stealing the Three Musketeers just before I walk out the door.

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